Jack Bauer Has Kidnapped Father Christmas!

There's been a rumour about town.

A rumour I knew wasn't true ever since I was little.

People say Father Christmas isn't real but the video below is living proof that he is and that he has been kidnapped by Jack Bauer of the Counter Terrorist Unit.

I got a man on the inside who managed to sneak this piece of evidence out to me.

Now, I'm going in to go get him out and I need all the help I can get...

If you're in, meet me on the corner of Pulteney Street, Bath, outside the Happy Shopper. We can stock up on Haribo there.

If I don't make it, tell my pet goldfish Talula that I love her and thanks for all the happy memories she's given me. She'll know what I mean...

Until then, good bye.

Christmas Is Not A McDonald's Happy Meal!

I personally love Christmas.

It's a time of the year that really makes you value the important things in life; friends, family, food, intimacy and of course, alcohol.

When I saw this ad I was at my parent's house relaxing in the living room in front of an open fire. I had just eaten my favourite of all dinners, Nanny Tipping's Bean Feast. The family dog, a crazy golden Labrador name Kira was slumped by my side, pooped out from an afternoon walk into the mysterious Exmoor forest. I personally could not have been any happier...

But then I saw the ad below and my happiness was struck so far into the abyss that it was as if I had just taken part in a staring contest with the Chthonic Greek monster Medusa.

As I have said in the title of this post, Christmas is not a McDonald's happy meal!

Replacing the lyrics of a traditional Christmas carol with McDonald's orders is taking things too far!

Instead of serving baked apple pies on their menu someone should serve them up a good helping of humble pie!

Da da da da da, I'm not loving it!!!